The festive season is well and truly upon us, your boss has on an awful Christmas tie, there is a sad looking Christmas tree decorated with a single bauble and everyone is wondering who gifted the ‘twat’ mug in Secret Santa (and if they meant it)
So, what can you do to survive the Christmas do at work? Well unless you’ve got two weeks of holiday days left, then I’m afraid there isn’t much you can do but stick on a Christmas jumper, find the ultimate Christmas mix on YouTube and have yourself a very merry Officemas.
The night everyone looks forward to is the office party and mostly because of the free bar but also because it’s a chance to really get to know people, place bets on who’s going to cop off and who’s going to be the first on the table impersonating Mariah.
Do your research.
Before you sign up to go on the Christmas do find out who’s going and where is it. It’s a time to get to know people you’ve probably never spoken to but it’s nice to have your work besties there, mainly because they won’t judge you when you’re on the fifth triple and sneaking to the buffet… again.
Know your limits.
No one wants to be the talk of the office in the New Year after falling off the bar or throwing up on the boss’s shoes so it’s important to know your limits. If there isn’t food get a decent meal beforehand so you can get a head start and soak up some of those Jägerbombs before it’s too late.
Have a backup plan.
If your work colleagues grind your gears on the best of days, then after a few drinks you’ll definitely need an escape plan. Find out if any of your friends are in town or arrange for someone to be on call if anything gets out of hand and you can make a swift exit, hopefully when no one’s looking.
Take a survival kit.
Just the essentials, you know, just in case; spare underwear, wet wipes, chewing gum and perfume just in case you don’t make it back home and need to get the bus at 11am the following morning. It’s nice to be able to take off last night’s make up, smell half decent and be able to speak to the bus driver without him dying on the inside.
Be fully prepared for a dance off.
When someone’s jam comes on its very hard to stop them thinking they’re Chris Brown but instead of staring at them with distain, join in! Challenge them to a dance off and I promise this will be a better team bonding experience than that one afternoon you spent wall climbing five years ago. Just beware of cameras, you do not want to be the office screensaver for the next 12 months.
There is probably nothing worse than your phone dying on you during that all important Snapchat video of your boss downing 10 chilli shots. Especially when it gets to 5am and you need a taxi home. If possible get your phone fully charged before you arrive, not only will this be a welcome distraction during the awkward sober conversation about work but you’ll be thankful when your able to drunk text your ex at midnight. If you are an unruly Snapchatter then get hold of a portable charger and keep that in your purse for when you’re running low.
Probably the most important aspect of the night, finding a good take away. Now with work colleagues you’ll struggle to find something everyone likes but the most important thing to do is stick to your guns. If you know Mr Chips will sort you out, then you go to Mr Chips and make sure everyone follows!
As you move from bar to bar its likely people will get left behind and possibly lost. Be vigilant and make sure everyone is looking out for each other and keep an eye out for any dodgy people at the bar and in the club. Keep an eye on your drink and help the most drunk people (no matter how annoying) when the end of the night comes and everyone is slumped in Mr Chips ensure everyone has a way of getting home and money for a taxi.
Once the night is over all you have to do is survive the hangover and make it into work the following Monday, avoiding the awkward gaze of your boss and look forward to doing it all again next year.